Can I believe her or have I messed up my life beyond repair?

For the first 5 years of our marrige, I loved and respected and adored her. With two wonderful kids and a loving wife, I was on cloud nine. Her parents objected to our marriage but had no other way as she was firm and we are related and knew each other from my childhood and I waited 7 years to get her love before marriage. We faced financial problems after 5 years and her parents who barrowed from me failed to return the money when we needed it most. When she sided with them, I felt depressed. It was the beginning of a series of verbal fights and her parents secretly encouraged divorce. She soon began to look through her parents eyes and gave me lot more criticism that I occionally gave her my response when I got drunk. We seperated twice and I was at her doorstep nextday each time.I am broke now though not a penny of her money is touched. When we are picking pieces, I found her loveletter to a clmate who she met after14 years. She is sad and says she loves me shows instancesofit